I have been perusing a crazy blog lately that most of you have probably seen and spent a large amount of time reading (http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.wordpress.com), and through it I stumbled upon an article from the New York Times website about young, affluent urbanites going out to farms and getting elbow deep in pig shit in order to show the rest of us how we might make a better world. Here is the link to the Times article: http://www.nytimes.com/2008/03/16/fashion/16farmer.html?scp=1&sq=Trucker+Hat&st=nyt

I suppose I should give credit to people who put their money where their mouths are and do the dirty work they always felt was so noble—but I just can’t seem to rise above. When I hear about Williamsburg hipsters, who were raised on the east side of Manhattan, heading upstate to start their own organic produce farms, it makes my eye twitch. Have they any idea how badly the kids who were raised on small, struggling farms throughout the country want to get out? I know, I know, it’s their prerogative to choose such a difficult life, and their reasons for doing so are none of my business—but every single one of these crunchy ass-breaths in this article struck out to raise “organic” produce and livestock, which they will in turn sell back to the wealthy people in the urban centers they just left behind. Lower income households certainly can’t afford the kinds of prices necessary for the ex-cool kids to live in adequate quarters while “living off the land”—and here is where the whole idea of nobility starts to fall apart.

These people have the skills that so many others desire in order to live a more promising life. But they would rather move to the sticks and take jobs away from others that lack the ability or the means to find better. It is all enough to drive me freaking bugshit, and then I read a quote like this, and my blood boils in my veins:

The Billyburg scene has changed, said Annaliese Griffin, who contributes to a blog called Grocery Guy. “Having a cool cheese in your fridge has taken the place of knowing what the cool band is, or even of playing in that band,” she said. “Our rock stars are ricotta makers.”

Holy crap. Well, Annaliese, let me guarantee you this: somewhere out there a poor farmer’s son could care less about fucking goat cheese and would so love to go see a rock star one day. Can he have your old record collection, Annaliese? You PIG.

Soon enough all these new hippies will get tired of getting up at 5 AM every day, working their asses off until they feel like dropping in their well-heeled tracks, and then they will head back to the city to start up research firms, just like the old hippies did.

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8 Responses to “I Think I Smell a Hippy Jerkwad”
  1. Katie D says:

    Ah hell, if it gets these hippie hipster critters out of the city for good, then it’s ok by me. More music for us, Retardo.

  2. Jose says:

    I suppose you’re right, Katie D, but then who will we laugh at when we dine at Japonais?

  3. Medium Happiness says:

    Jose and Katie Diver:

    I agree that most of this hipsters in this city aren’t in fact hipsters, they’re just sinewy pests–members of the rat family I think. Anyhow, I think the framing thing is more of an existential type story than it is a coolness one.

    First, I truly believe human nature has some code programmed in it somewhere that makes us want what we do not have: you’re a rich banker; you want to raise sheep in Ireland: you’ve got a hot skinny wife; you want a fat slob, etc. etc.

    Second, we humans are way too specialized and fundamentally unable to care for ourselves. If the world as we know it drastically changed over night and all of out luxuries slowly went away would you be able to build yourself a new house? Raise the hog and slaughter it? I doubt it.

    So my conclusion is this: no matter what you attain, a killer record collection, a lucrative job, a hot wife with a trophy rack; it does not matter on some level you will always want something else and finally we are starting to realize, perhaps as human beings that growing grapes and making your own wine might make you happier than learning how to do some other intangible service-sector bullshit.

  4. Katie D says:

    Overheard on the L train (sorry Williamsburg):

    W: I am the smartest, coolest person I know… but being an aspiring interpretive-dancer/juggler sure is hard work.

    M: Well, you could very easily become a farmer because people don’t even have to go to school to do that. Besides, think of how cool you’ll seem to your friends!

    W: Wow, I really admire myself for even considering it.

    These too-cool-for-school doodooheads won’t be able to cut it as farmers because they’re too busy being contrarian and spoiled, as you just pointed out. It’s just a fad– why else would the Times write about it? They know that a chunk of their audience is these jerks who read it for the trends, and for the trend that it is in itself:

    http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.wordpress.com/2008/01/31/45-the-sunday-new-york-times/

    If the article was in Crop Report Monthly, I might see this differently. Besides, how can you ignore the irony of sheep raising sheep? Wokka wokka.

  5. LP says:

    Katie D:

    People in NY read the Times for trends? Pathetic. If it’s in the Times, it’s so over. The cool people read the Times for the X-word puzzle, of course.

  6. Katie D says:

    Right on, LP! Glad to know you won’t be following the herd upstate.

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