From the Health and Human Services Dept. of Jose el Retardo, Lost and Found Division
Posted by: Jose in General Nonsense
Hey Deborah, I found your homework on the street the other day. If you want it, claim it. Everyone else, let’s run down the list of what we love about this page of bare-bones composition. Click the image to enlarge for easier reading.
I think my favorite feature of this little report is how far down the page the actual information begins. The title is on the second line, really, and then the report is another four lines below that! A classic dodge that has been in use for generations—akin to pushing your food around the plate in order to trick your parents into thinking you’ve eaten more than you actually have—and I’m so happy to see it’s still part of the ducker’s repertoire. On the other hand, I wish students would try to be cleverer, and keep the teachers guessing. Stay ahead of the rule makers, rule breakers. Come up with the new tricks so as to avoid the bricks and sticks. Get it, chicks?
There is an absolute minimalism to this girl’s style of writing that you have to admire. It goes beyond the “just the facts” mentality and strays more into “even less than the basic stats” territory. Deborah is writing about Tasha. We know where she lives, we know who is in her family, we know there is some kind of vague trouble with “some other guy”; there is the alluring threat of death (always important), a time of day is mentioned for some reason, and two hours later they are on their way to America. Oh, and there’s a president mentioned. I guess Tasha’s old man has some powerful friends.
You have to love how the person checking Deborah’s work seemed to give up after only the first two comments. I can’t blame this mystery editor one bit; I imagine this practical person exasperatedly handed the paper back with instructions to simply copy someone else’s work from the internet.
I think I’ve already said more regarding this paper than Deborah wrote about the trials of poor Tasha, so I’ll let it be. What do YOU love about this theme, fair reader? How can Deborah improve upon her terse style?
Ahhh, the state of education in

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March 25th, 2008 at 1:45 pm
I personally enjoy the misuse of the word “whose” by the person who is supposed to be correcting Deborah. Poor girl never even had a chance.
March 25th, 2008 at 2:50 pm
This is sad.
March 25th, 2008 at 7:43 pm
What ever happened to penmanship, to the fact that you couldn’t use a pen because you couldn’t crossout (scribble)? This is probably the work of a highschooler, certainly not on the academic level of our young Jose.
March 26th, 2008 at 6:26 am
Where can I pick me up an “E-Z pass visa??”
March 26th, 2008 at 6:51 am
Not in America the United States of America, I can tell you that.
March 26th, 2008 at 9:16 am
I think I work with Deborah Kendall
March 26th, 2008 at 9:50 am
Actually, pops, some highschoolers are very smart and know how to write decently. Take, for instance, a very beautiful and smart girl who happens to love you so very much, and happens to have a birthday coming up soon..
March 26th, 2008 at 5:42 pm
that was some major suck up little sister…too bad pops has already forgotten about this blog and will not check it again
hey has that social worker called yet? (ha ha)
the sis
March 27th, 2008 at 8:33 am
Little sister, you left a dot out of your ellipses…Danzig, we ALL work with Deborah Kendall; Pops, these days I think it goes even further–should she be typing this out at the computer lab in the school, or at home, if she is fortunate enough to have one there?