Tag Archives: Robots

Just What I Needed—A Robot Great-Aunt

June 9, 2008 – 3:03 PM

Once again, I am flummoxed by the scientific minds of this age. How did our modern brainiacs become so dorky? Ben Franklin had one hand on his kite string, and the other firmly clamped on a tit, but leave it to the nerds of today to build a female android that doesn’t even want her [...]

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I am Sick of This Planet

May 20, 2008 – 2:43 PM

Have you noticed a definitive lack of exciting concepts coming out of our scientific community of late? I have. There is nothing happening in the world of science today that makes me excited for tomorrow. I know what you’re going to tell me: Jose, what about the Hadron Collider? When they flip the switch on [...]

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The Military Has Shat and Gotten Off the Pot

March 21, 2008 – 2:31 PM

Earlier in the year we here at Jose el Retardo expressed our sincere disappointment in the United States military for not having the foresight to make real laser beams with scary colors and crazy “pew pew” sounds that would make a person shit their pants before being completely evaporated in a puff of fine, red [...]

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Someone Tell the Military to Shit or Get Off the Pot

March 5, 2008 – 3:50 PM

A friend and co-worker by the name of Josh (who will probably get quite upset to see that I’ve listed him as a friend, but he can go straight to hell if he doesn’t like it) recently sent me the following video about a little, non-lethal heat beam being developed by the military to safely [...]

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