You’ve certainly seen the video footage of Tom Cruise being interviewed for his cute little award ceremony honoring him as the most famous and bizarre of all the famous and bizarre Scientologists. Well, here it is again, just in case you missed it. (more below)

The first thing that strikes me is Tom’s blatant lack of modesty. This man loves himself like no other human has ever loved anything. His arrogance is a living, breathing animal sitting on his shoulder like a gargoyle. Nothing can kill this little monster perched so obstinately there. You can not quiet it—my friends, it is too late.

The second thing that intrigues me is, ironically, the lack of any real content in anything Tom Cruise says in this relentlessly proud assertion of the power of all Scientologists. He says they (or, more correctly, he) have the power to change the world, but he never says how. He says they are the only ones who can help the rest of us poor slobs, but he never says in what way. He talks about Scientologists being the only ones that can help at the scene of a car wreck, but he gives zero specifics. What would he do? Are all Scientologists trained medical professionals? Do they have healing hands? Are they some kind of new faith healers for the age of Xenu? My god, the man can’t even bring himself to finish a sentence! And this says one thing loud and clear to me: there is absolutely nothing of any real substance to Scientology aside from all the crazy damn nonsense found in L. Ron Hubbard’s silly Dianetics books.

This is a direct quote from the Scientology website:

“Man is an immortal, spiritual being. His experience extends well beyond a single lifetime. His capabilities are unlimited, even if not presently realized — and those capabilities can be realized. He is able to not only solve his own problems, accomplish his goals and gain lasting happiness, but also achieve new, higher states of awareness and ability.”

Sound familiar? Maybe like EVERY OTHER FREAKING RELIGION? Take away the volcanoes and thetans, replace them with a parting sea and a holy ghost, and POW baby! You got yourself some good old, down home Christianity, just like mom used to make. It’s all the same chicken feed, people. Yet another way to keep the ducks in line.

But back to Tom. He’s batshit crazy, and you knew that, and he laughs at strange things with lunacy in his eyes. Katie Holms is a beaten down slave. Body Thetans strive to escape the meat body. The world keeps spinning. Next.