Tag Archives: American Idol

American Idol is Training a Ryan Seacrest Replacement, Sources Say

May 16, 2008 – 2:35 PM

Hollywood,CA(JeR)—Sources at Fox Studios have leaked to Jose el Retardo a startling revelation: Ryan Seacrest is not long for the Idol world. In preparation for his imminent departure from this—America’s greatest television show—circumstances have taken the producers of American Idol to a strange new television first: The live, on-air, audition. One of the most recent [...]

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Paula Abdul Interrogated Roughly By Fox Executives, Castro Survives

May 1, 2008 – 12:13 PM

Los Angeles, CA (JeR)—As horrified fans and well-wishers looked on, an exhausted and distraught Paula Abdul made her way from Fox LA Headquarters to an idling limousine early this morning with what looked to be multiple injuries to her face and extremities. She was escorted by several armed Fox Security personnel, the very same who [...]

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Paula Abdul Time Travels, and Visions Are Uncanny

April 30, 2008 – 9:23 AM

Hollywood, CA (JeR)—American Idol judge and choreography legend Paula Abdul stunned the scientific world last night when she became the first known human in the history of man to successfully time travel. And she did so in front of millions of astonished fans while speaking on live television during the latest of what was shaping [...]

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Is American Idol a Star-Maker or a Cheating Machine?

March 20, 2008 – 1:15 PM

The investigative offices of Jose el Retardo have recently stumbled upon a nasty conspiracy nestled comfortably in the living rooms of millions of American television viewers. It seems that the so-called creative brilliance behind American Idol—arguably one of the most popular programs in prime-time history—is using flagrant deception to shore up leaky ratings. Simply put: [...]

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