Shiny Happy Construction People Holding Something

I was walking down the sidewalk the other day, listening to music and completely sealed-off, when I was shocked back into reality by wet bits of concrete being spit out by an industrial-strength circular saw manned by several construction workers. The gray matter speckled me from my chest to my knees, and you know, kind of pissed me off. I looked at the workers and threw up my arms, all like, “Hey man, WTF, are you kidding me?” And they looked back at me and shrugged, as if to say, “What do you want from our lives?”

As I walked on, I realized that it was as much my fault as it was theirs, that if I had been paying attention to my surroundings, I could have easily avoided the whole mess, but it still irked me that the guys were so unapologetic. I know for a freaking fact that had I been a chick they would have fallen all over themselves to make things right. Or…or…maybe…if they had been gay. Has there ever even BEEN a gay construction worker? There HAS to have been, right? But then, why haven’t I ever encountered one? Certainly I would know if I had. How could I miss the catcalls, the whistles, the offers? I guess the possibility exists that I am completely undesirable, but I’ll assume that there’s someone for everyone and that SOME gay construction worker out there would have seen something in me he likes.

Before I reached home a short while later, I was beginning to come up with a little song, and I’d like to share a VERY rough recording of it with all of you:

Caminando en Barcelona

Always striving to bring the world to my readers, I hit the streets of Barcelona today with the intrepid KTray, and I must say, it is one cool town. In order to help you all fully appreciate this super mod metropolis, I will be posting photos over the next few days, starting today. Click on the thumbnails to enlarge. Enjoy, suckas.

Marketing Strikes Again

I recently took this photo of cans of glass cleaner that have been sitting by my desk at work for about a thousand years. For some reason or another, I found it interesting, and while looking at it I noticed that the cans say, “for the graphic arts industry” on the front. I’m sure that the spray cleanser company Sprayway is a very reputable place, but I have a feeling that this particular cleaner is no more apt for the graphic arts industry than say, Windex. However, it is my suspicion that some marketing exec somewhere out there decided a niche needed to be filled. Oh well. Who cares. I like the picture.

Glass Cleaner

What’s REALLY funny, though, is this clip I found on YouTube about Windex:

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Scandinavian Black Metal/Seasonal Affective Disorder

Not a lot of people realize this, but Norway and the surrounding area is widely considered the birthplace of true black metal, a sub genre of heavy metal which focuses on exploding double bass drums, highly distorted tremolo guitar picking, odd rhythm changes, and chilling vocal screams and growls venerating the many charms of satan. It is a dark music—many would say evil—and while for some it has no more meaning than the artifices of professional wrestling, for others it is a path for life; a call-to-arms against the status quo that has, at times, resulted in violence, and—it must be said—occasionally murder. I won’t go into the whole history, but if you’d like to learn more, you can start by clicking here.

My curiosity about black metal and its origins has more to do with economics. Usually, such extreme cultural views where one is led to have disproportionately negative connections with the rest of society stems from a poor economic background. Basically, struggle breeds strife. But in this case, we see a prime example of global paradox, because as far as I know, Scandinavia is a fairly well-to-do part of the world. Socioeconomically speaking, it’s kind of the earth’s suburb. And for the most part, suburbs tend to produce relatively harmless—if somewhat obnoxious and clueless—citizens. Scandinavia, however, has a rather large sub-culture producing artistic material such as this:

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The above video is from a Norwegian band named Gorgoroth (named for an especially nasty neighborhood of Mordor—yes, THAT Mordor). Supposedly, there is no irony embedded in their message, no wink given to audience members in on the joke. These cats are the real deal. They believe in satanism, and chaos, and fire, and blood, and pain, etc, etc. See more about them here. So, if I am correct and the members of this band lived formative years of relative comfort, from whence does the menace bloom?

As you may have guessed, I have a theory. I think that many of the people from this part of the world suffer greatly from seasonal affective disorder, which is basically a form a depression that strikes the hearts of many whenever the air gets cold and the nights get long. And nowhere else on earth do the days get colder and shorter than Scandinavia, parts of which are far enough north to be subject to the infamous polar nights. During these times, northern territories exist without sunlight for as long as three months in a row. Jesus. I’d probably want to kill for satan too, after putting up with that kind of horseshit for decades on end.

I guess I’m thinking about all of this now because I am getting pretty sick and tired of my own region’s winter. It’s been an unusually cold and snowy January here in the NYC area, and I’m sick to death of it. You would think that since I grew up in the miserable Midwest that I would be used to this kind of tawdry treatment from that bitch Mother Nature, but hey man, that was a long time ago. I have become accustomed to better treatment. I’m also feeling frayed by a winter that seems to have brought more illness to the masses than in recent years. Add it up, and I’m finding myself becoming more and more lethargic, more interested in large quantities of dark beer, more apt to jump in my longship , sail down to the nearest village, and burn it to the goddamn ground, pillaging everything in sight and massacring anyone who gets in my way.

I think this little tidbit from Gorgoroth singer Gaahl, one of the most feared and hated men in all of Norway, sums it up best:

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For more on the Scandinavian Black Metal scene, I highly suggest watching this interesting video from VBS.tv.

Here’s to the winter ending soon. Before satan swallows us all.