Once again, I am flummoxed by the scientific minds of this age. How did our modern brainiacs become so dorky? Ben Franklin had one hand on his kite string, and the other firmly clamped on a tit, but leave it to the nerds of today to build a female android that doesn’t even want her breast squeezed.

The video posted features a “fembot” built by some strange cat named Aiko who apparently likes his women in a wheelchair. He also seems to like them to be dour and unapproachable. It makes me curious to know what his past experiences with the ladies have been. I mean, why would you bother to make a prototype female robot that tells you when you are hurting it…unless your run-ins with women have always leaned in that direction? Imagine the thought process: “Hmmm…I need to have her react to human touch—to say something. But what? Well, what have I personally seen women do? What do they always say to ME? Oh! I know! “Stop it, you’re hurting me.” Yes, yes, that’s gold. Oh! And: “Let go of my breast.” Excellent. Hmmm…maybe one more thing. Ahhhh (snapping fingers), I know, “I would like you to leave now.” PERFECT.

If it were me, I would have had a shawl placed over her legs and would have added the phrase, “After my Bill died I never remarried. I was 17 at the time.” And maybe, “Please close the window, my ankles are so cold.” This is a must: “Your brother came by last week with that awful woman of his. I don’t know what he sees in her. He brought me some groceries but I don’t care for the supermarket he shops at. They never have the canned cabbage I like and the clerks are very very rude and it’s always so cold in the pie isle. Then he got so angry because the stove burner was on and he said I could have burned down the whole house but it gets so COLD in here and I can never find the thermostat. Are you still dating that Jewish girl? I wish you wouldn’t. Are you going to sweep the leaves out of the walk? Why are you leaving so soon?”

The future is brimming with promise.

This entry was posted on Monday, June 9th, 2008 at 3:03 pm and is filed under News and Science. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.