Here at the Worldwide Headquarters of Jose el Retardo, Inc., we’ve been burning the midnight oil for days putting the finishing touches on our latest brilliant, musical creation: New Girl Smell. And for the first time ever, we are offering a high-quality download to all of our faithful followers, for the rock-bottom, introductory price of $0.99! Click below to get yours RIGHT NOW!

Of course, we here at Jose el Retardo love our readers, and so we would never leave them without the option to experience our work for free, and so here also is a version you can listen to whenever your tiny heart desires, from right here on the site. You can also use this link to “try before you buy,” as it were, although we hope you’ll buy the song whether you like it or not. I mean, hell, we have mouths to feed.

Of course, we realize that our site has always been a safe haven for all the Steve Jobs (RIP, I suppose) haters of the world, and we would never expect any of them to step a single toe into the immaculately sterile vortex of the iTunes store. And for you, fearless eschewer, we offer you the ability to purchase New Girl Smell from Amazon. Knock yourselves out.

If you do other things, like Rhapsody or something weird like that, I think you can find it there, too. Let us know if you’re having any problems consuming Jose, and we’ll do what we can to fix it. And of course, PLEASE let us know what you think of this new, hot, spicy little number by leaving comments. Even if you hate it. Which you won’t. Because the song freaking rocks balls.